April 6, 2007, Newsletter Issue #114: Sleeping With Parents

Tip of the Week

Some children seem to fall asleep okay, but at two or three o´clock in the morning they wake up and crawl into bed with their parents. Children like sleeping with their parents- they know that in the parents bedroom they are safe and nothing can go wrong. Allowing the child to continue this practice, however, will prevent the child from learning how to cope on their own at night and will infringe on the parents´ privacy. Therefore, when children come into their parents bedroom at night they should be returned to their bed as soon as their presence is discovered. There may be protests and tears, but it is important that parents remain adamant that the child stay in their own room at night (after all, instead of coming into your room, they could wander around the house at night and hurt themselves, even going outside!) If parents are deep sleepers, they should use some warning device (such as a cow bell on the child´s door) that will signal the parents that their night wanderer is leaving the room. Consistently tell the child that if they wake at night and cannot go back to sleep, they can read or color quietly in their room, but they are not to come out of their bedroom. It is important to praise the child every morning when they stayed in their bedroom throughout the night. Remember, while the youngster may tell you that they "are afraid" or "had a bad dream." they are also being manipulative and testing the limits placed upon them. Dr. Goldstein says: "When the child leaves their bedroom at night, they have lost the limits parents placed on them. It stands to reason that by returning the child to their bed at night, parents are taking another important step in teaching their child how to control themselves."

* Source: Bruce A. Epstein, M.D., All Children´s Hospital

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